Wacky News of the World

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52, tried to cure his sexual impotence by having his penis transplant -- using a donkey as the donor. The wire service Agence France-Presse reported that three times Esirgen brought home a donkey, amputated its sexual oragns and appealed in vain for a doctor to perform the operation. Apparently the third time so annoyed his family that his son shot him in the leg. Horse and Druggies In one of the strangest alliancves ever encountered by law enforcement in the Amish community of Pennsylvania, members of the Pagans Motorcylce Club allegedly conspired with some young Amish men to sell "multiple kilograms" of cocaine to Amish youth groups. The drugs were to be sold to the Amish youths during hoedowns. The deals took place in Gap, PA, minuted east of Intercourse, PA. Kaleef the Blacksmith Had One Down the Street, Where the Big Hole Is A second stray U.S. Tomahawk missle was found in Pakistan as the counrty mounted interview efforts asking citizenry if they've seen anymore. It Only Hurts When I Reboot In England, Professor Kevin Warwick, head of the University of Reading's Cybernetics Dept., claimed to be the first person in the owrld to have a computer chip surgically implanted into his body. In a demo, his computer greeted him with "Good morning, Professor Warwick. You have five new e-mails. Sticks and Stones... 800 were left injured, 25 critically, at the annual Gotmar festival near Chhindwara in India. A traditional part is where residents from two nearby villages gather on opposite sides of a river to hurl rocks and abuses at each other, before feasting and rejoicing together later. Getting hit is considered a good omen. Naughty Nurses The United Kingdom Central Council of Nursong, Midwifery and Health sent letters warning 640,000 British nurses to stop using offensive abbreviations in their notes which go into patients' records. Examples include BUNDY (but unfortunately not dead yet), PIN (pain in the neck), and FLK (funny looking kid). back